I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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