is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
COCAINE IS GR8
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
