The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
