she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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