He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
