Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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