After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
