Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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