this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he told me I talked like a deaf person
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
