So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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