Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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