My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
