Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
