That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
