update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
