Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
