Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
