Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
