YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My bed smells like the plague
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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