hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
