He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
