with your own penis?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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