Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
