Who wears a wallet chain?!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
