I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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