He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
