I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
