the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
