Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
