Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
