So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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