Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
