You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
