VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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