I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
