Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
