You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
