dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
