When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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