Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
is that a dick in a sweater?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
