I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
