i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
