Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Mom said you looked used
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
