Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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