On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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