and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
