oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
