check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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