Dual....:-)
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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