belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
