Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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